Marriage is a very auspicious event in the Bengali community. Bengali matrimonials, like all other Indian matrimonials, are a mixture of pure custom, tradition and religious beliefs.
The Bengali matrimonial alliance starts with the final talk known as 'Paaka Katha' where the parents of the bride or the groom, along with one or two very close relatives or friends, go to the other party's house to formally settle the marriage. This may be followed by a meal.
In the Bengali community, the engagement is referred to as 'Aashirbaad'. Here again both the families visit the respective houses with gifts to be exchange. It is interesting to note that the groom or the bride do not accompany the family on this occasion. The girl is presented with a gold ornament by the boy's parents. read more..
The actual ritual of a Bengali matrimonial ceremony begins with the 'Adhibas', which is a gathering of relatives and friends at the bride and the groom's house. This normally takes place an evening before the wedding or on the day of the actual matrimonial ceremony. A 'Vriddhi' is also held wherein prayers are offered to the Ancestors. A paternal uncle usually performs the 'Vriddhi'. Bengali tradition demands that the uncle and the bride/groom be on a liquid diet.
In the Bengali marriage ceremony, piris are used to seat the bride and the groom, and are delivered a day ahead at the bride's home where the mandap is being readied. A relative of the groom takes to the bride, 'Gae Halud Tattva' which includes gifts of at least six sarees and cosmetics. Also among the gifts are fish, assorted sweets, curd, paan, dhaan and durba.
As per Bengali culture, 'Adhibas Tattva' is done in return and gifts from the bride's house are sent to the groom. This includes a sari for the groom's mother, and fish, sweets, curd, paan, dhaan, and durba. In the Bengali community, conch shells are blown during almost all the matrimonial ceremonies being held.
Unlike other Indian matrimonial processes, the Bengali marriages differ, wherein there are more post - matrimonial ceremonies than pre - matrimonial ceremonies.
'Dadhi Mangal' takes place on the actual matrimonial morning before sunrise. The bride and the groom are offered milk - based products in their respective houses (curd, milk, meetha etc) to eat. They then will not be allowed to eat until the matrimonial rites are over. In the Bengali community, the maternal uncle of the girl goes to fetch the groom to be. The groom then leaves for the bride's home where he is welcomed by the girl's mother with an aarti. This is where the matrimonial rituals will take place.
With the 'Shubha Drishti' the boy and the girl set eyes on each other. This is followed by the exchange of garlands (Mala Badal). The actual wedding ceremony in the Bengali community is known as the 'Vivah'. During the matrimonial ceremony the Bengali bride adorns herself in all her bridal finery. A mukut is placed on her head. A design of the mukut is traced on her face using the chandan (sandalwood) paste. The bride must sit with the gaach kouto and kaajal laata for the ceremonies that follow.
After the matrimonial ritual is over, 'Kanyadan' is performed. The Bengali community calls it the 'Sampradaan'. 'Sampradaan', unlike in other Indian matrimonials, is not conducted by the father, but instead by the paternal uncle. Then the 'Saat Pheras' take place around the agni (sacred fire). The couple then stays at the bride's house while rest of the groom's family leaves. The bride and groom are made comfortable and much gaiety and festivity follows.
In the Bengali wedding, the groom adorns the forehead of his wife with Sindhur (vermilion) the next day. The Bengali couple then worships the Sun God. After the luncheon, the elders bless the couple and gifts are showered upon them. Like in all Indian matrimonial the ritual of 'Bidai' takes place. The couple then leaves for the groom's house. It is here that the bride is formally invited into the family and the groom promises responsibility for her.
The Bengali wedding also has the 'Bou Baran', which is a post - matrimonial ceremony to welcome the bride. The groom's elder brother's wife holds a plate containing lac dye and milk under the bride's feet. The bride dips her feet in this and is lead into the house. The bride then has her first meal at her in-laws and this is known as 'Basar Ghar'.
The Bengali wedding ceremony is followed by a true Bengali reception in the evening, which is hosted by the groom's father. The last of the post - matrimonial ceremonies is known as the 'Phool Saja' and this occasion sees the bride in a new sari and the groom in a new dhoti and kurta. The couple's bedroom, to which they will retire, is beautifully adorned with flowers.
Bengali matrimonial definitely does not include any of the loud celebrations associated with weddings in North Indian wedding, neither is it a quiet or colourless affair. It is in fact the mingling of two minds in perfect harmony, reflecting the sensuousness of the Bengali community.