The Sikh matrimonial alliance is known as 'Anand Karaj', which literally translates into "Blissful Reunion". The Sikh matrimonial ceremony is a very special ceremony in which two individuals are joined in an equal partnership. Like in all Indian matrimonials, this is a very joyous and festive event.
Sikh matrimonial alliances are usually arranged with families acting as little more than introduction services. The ultimate choice or decision is always left to the girl and boy. In some cases the boy and girl choose each other first and then seek their parents consent and blessing.
The alliance in the Sikh community weddings, begin with the 'Engagement' where the bride's father takes the initiative to arrange the ceremonial commitments. This is normally done through a mediator. The Sikh engagement involves a bhaiji or a preacher from the gurudwara applying tilak on the groom-to-be and offers him coconut, chhuhare (dry dates), sugar and money. Following the tilak ceremony, the groom's father sends gifts of sugar, coconut, rice, clothes, ornaments and henna to the bride. This pre - matrimonial ceremony, is followed by 'Ardas' (the common Sikh prayer), 'Kirtan' (hymns from Sri Guru Granth Sahib) and 'Langar' (common meal); if performed in the Gurdwara. read more..
It is important to note that the 'Reht Maryada' is the Official Sikh Code of Conduct and rules the Sikh matrimonial alliances. This specifies that no thought should be given to the caste, race or lineage. As long as both the boy and girl affirm to the Sikh faith, they may be joined in wedlock. It is important to note that in the Sikh community, 'Reht Maryada' strictly does not permit any sort of dowry arrangement. Superstitions in reference to mahurat for the exact matrimonial time and date and horoscope matching are also discouraged.
A few days prior to the actual matrimonial ritual the boy and girl are held in confinement and not allowed to leave their respective houses. In the Sikh culture, this pre - matrimonial custom is known as the 'Maiya'. The pre - nuptial rituals of the Sikh also involve the tying of a red sacred thread on the right wrist of the boy and on the left wrist of the girl. Gana, which is made up of auspicious items like cowrie shells, an iron key chain, pearls and a small silken bundle containing sugar, is adorned by the bride.
The pre - matrimonial alliance rituals continue with the 'Vatna'. During this ceremony a scented powder mixed up of barley flour, turmeric and mustard oil is applied to the bodies of the bride and the groom-to-be. This is followed by a bath. However for the bride, like in all Indian Matrimonials, it is now time to adorn her hands with mehendi.
On the morning of the wedding, the 'Gharoli' ceremony takes place at the house of the groom. The groom's sister-in-law and other female relatives go to fill an earthen pot with water from a well or the Sikh gurudwara. This water is then used to bathe the groom. In the Sikh community this is known as 'Khare Charna'.
Meanwhile as per the Sikh culture, at the bride's house, the 'Choora' ceremony is taking place. Here the maternal uncle takes the bride to be put on a set of red and white ivory bangles. In modern times, since ivory is banned, bone or plastic is used as an alternative. Kaleeren, ornaments that dangle golden metal plates, are tied to the bride's wrist.
The Sikh bride and the groom, as in other Indian matrimonials, now begin to get ready in their wedding attire made of great finery like embroidery. Just before the 'Milni', a Sehera or a floral veil is tied on to the head of he groom. The groom then mounts a horse and along with his relatives (the baraatis) head for the brides home, with music, dance and gaiety ruling procession.
The matrimonial ceremony of the 'Milni' takes place at the bride's house where the Shabd is read. True to the Indian matrimonial style, the groom and the procession are welcomed with a lot of warmth and love. The actual matrimonial ceremony is performed in a Gurdwara or at the home where Sri Guru Granth Sahib has been respectfully installed. This Sikh matrimonial ritual is not to be held in a hotel or banquet hall. The bride and the groom are made to sit together to attend the 'Guru Granth Sahib Kirtan'. Meanwhile the groom drapes around his neck, a red or orange chunni, which is held by his father-in-law. The bride holds the other end. Verses, hymns or lavans from the Guru Granth Sahib, are then sung.
The matrimonial ceremony also involves the bride and the groom to take circles (Pheras) round the Guru Granth Sahib. The bridegroom walks ahead of the bride with a sword in his hand. The bride and the groom taking their seat while bowing to the Guru Granth Sahib, mark each phera. Four such pheras are taken very unlike the other Indian matrimonials where seven pheras are taken. A sermon follows. This explains in detail, to the bride and groom, their duties towards each other and society, as man and wife.
The bride then changes into a new attire, which is presented to her, by the husband's side. She then leaves her parent's house. As she embarks onto a doli, she throws back grains of rice, thereby wishing prosperity for the family she leaves behind. The doli then takes the bride to her in-laws house. The post - matrimonial ceremony is closed by a reception, which is normally held in the evening, with great extravaganza.