Tamil Nadu is a Southern State of India, occupying the extreme South of the Indian Peninsula. The main languages spoken are Tamil and English. Not only has politics in Tamil Nadu been secular in comparison with most other states of India, but also the rituals in Tamil matrimonial are very familiar to those found in Indian matrimonials. Tamil Nadu has a huge population with the majority of people being Dravidar. More than 85% of the population speaks Tamil, which is the state's official language.
In Tamil matrimonials, once a matrimonial alliance is fixed the girl and boy are not allowed to meet. The priests of the groom's family do the fixing of the matrimonial. The Tamil engagement takes place a day before the wedding and is a pre - matrimonial ceremony. The groom arrives at the girl's house with a 'Baraat'. This pre - matrimonial ceremony is known as the 'Jaanavaasam'. A 'Ganesh Puja' follows this. 'Panda Kaal Muhurtham' or 'Vratham' is performed, and it is another small pre - matrimonial ceremony, one day before wedding. Recitation of Vedic hymns in the presence of a priest i.e., 'Vaadyar' takes place. This ritual is held to invoke the blessings of the family deity to ensure that the matrimonial alliance proceeds smoothly. A bamboo pole symbolically represents this deity. read more..
The next day, the Tamil couple to be married has to take a 'Mangala Snanam'. This is a ritual bath, on the day of the actual matrimonial day. Before the bath they are anointed with oil and a tilak of haldi-kumkum. This ritual is carried out at dawn and at their respective homes. After the bath, a tilak of chandan and kumkum is applied on the bride's forehead, while the palau of her sari is filled with fruits, paan, supari, turmeric, kumkum and coconut. A garland of flowers adorns her waist. Aarti is also performed for her.
After this ritual bath, the groom claims that he is leaving for Kashi. He carries a walking stick and other small essentials to pretend that he is not interested in becoming a householder. The girl's father intervenes and requests him to accept his daughter and fulfill his responsibilities as a householder. Folks convince him not to go on the pilgrimage. This Tamil wedding ritual is light hearted and enlivens the mood of the relatives and friends who are attending the marriage.
Another Tamil marriage ceremony that is full of fun and gaiety is the exchanging of garlands. The bride and the groom exchange garlands thrice. Their relatives tease them by pulling away the bride while the groom reaches forward to be garlanded by her and vice versa. The bride and the groom's uncles have to hoist them. The maternal uncle of both parties help in the matrimonial ceremonies that are being held and it is therefore important for them to be there. It has been seen that all over India maternal uncles play a vital role in matrimonial rituals.
Once the couple has finally succeeded in garlanding each other thrice, they are made to sit together on a swing. The couple is fed spoonful of milk and banana by the married women of the two families. A small matrimonial ceremony with rice balls circled around the couple in circular motions (clockwise and anti-clockwise directions) and flung away, is performed to keep the evil spirits away. Tamil wedding songs called 'Oonjal Paattu' are sung.
During the 'Kanyadaanam' the groom's the bride's father washes the groom's feet. This gesture conveys that the groom is the incarnation of Lord Vishnu and that he will take good care of his daughter. In the Tamil community, the Tamil bride is then made to sit on her father's lap with a coconut in her hands. The giving away of the bride takes place as the father and bride offers the coconut to the groom. The bride's mother then pours water over the coconut. The groom's parents then gift the bride a nine-yard sari in acceptance of the matrimonial alliance. This sari is to be worn during the tying of the mangasultra. The bride then changes into her matrimonial sari and the priest and relatives bless the mangalsutra. This matrimonial sacred thread is handed to the groom, who then ties it around the neck of his bride with two knots. His sister ties the third knot. The three knots symbolizes the unity of the mind, spirit and body in Holy matrimony.
The seven pheras or the 'Saptapadi' take place as the groom holds the bride's right hand in his left hand and leads her around the sacred matrimonial fire. As the couple takes these rounds, it is hoped by all present, that the matrimonial union will be steadfast and strong. Clothes and other gifts are then exchanged between the families (Sammandhi Mariyathai). 'Laaja Homam' is a post - matrimonial ceremony wherein the girl's brother offers popped rice to the groom. The groom offers this to the Agni (fire) and seeks blessings.
During the post - matrimonial ceremony of 'Paaladaanam', the couple seeks blessings of the senior. Gifts are offered to them in return. With the matrimonial rituals over, it is now time for the Tamil 'Grihapravesham'. The bride is sent to her matrimonial house and received warmly. The couple, then return to the venue where the matrimonial lunch of typical Tamil food is being served. The post - matrimonial reception takes place the same evening. With this the couple begins their new life together in society.