"Where are all the good girls/guys gone?"
"All the good ones are married!"

How many times have you heard your family, friends, colleagues and relatives utter those clichéd lines with a deep sigh? In fact, the way some people moan, you would think that ‘desired lifemates’ were an extinct species!

Well, first of all, you don't essentially have to feel that way; and there are plenty of 'eligible' men and women out there for you if you are willing to put in a little effort and change your attitude. But before that, you must give up certain myths, notions and customary beliefs and begin to take charge of your romantic life. Like your friends, family and work, romance is just another aspect of your life. And just as you devote time and effort on your friends, family and work, it requires that you take the responsibility for making it happen too.

Life is not a sugary-sweet romantic novel nor a mushy movie where one fine day, your 'Mr. Right/ Miss Perfect’ will appear out of the blue in your living room. In order to meet the man & woman of your dreams in real life, you must come out of the fantasy world, develop a plan of action and then act seriously upon it. Many people crib and complain about being lonely and are sincere about their desire to be with another person, but they are not committed in their efforts to making it happen. Because, while sincerity is an attitude, commitment is an action. And sincerity without action does not make anything happen!

Myth 1: You must be lucky enough to find your dream mate
Luck has little to do with your meeting your suitable lifemate, except maintaining the illusion that 'marriage is a big gamble' or that 'we are all helpless in the hands of God & fate'! Most people engage in their search for a partner with the belief that everything is pre-ordained and there is nothing they can do about it accept hope and pray, as though they were headed towards the war front! They tend to pray, wish, hope, and dream about finding their ideal mate, but they seldom give it a serious thought, develop a strategy or plan of action. They spend more time and energy planning a dinner party than the most important relationship of their lives.

There are a select few however, who are in control of their life and who realize the seriousness of 'marriage' and 'relationship', and they do everything in their power to increase their possibilities of meeting the right person-the person they wish to spend their entire life with.

Myth 2: Marriages are made in heaven
Dealt with a glorified festivity in our movies, romantic fiction and even sermons of elderly folks, which boils down to ’Kahin Na Kahin Koi Hai!’, this myth assumes that relationships are pre-destined & are beyond the domains of ordinary mortals. In other words what it means is, ‘as human beings we do not have any control over the choice of our 'life mates', as they are already chosen by God for us and so, we must settle for those that we find (and thus, no big effort required!)’.

While this myth has romantic overtones, it denies human beings from taking charge of their lives & decisions, and leaves them at the mercy of some ‘fictitious masterplan’ governing their lives!

If indeed marriages were made in heaven, we should exercise our God-given right to choose and learn how to make more effective and 'right' choices.

God doesn't provide us with a mate - He provides us with the ability to choose.
It is for us to make the most out of this ability, which is directly proportional to our efforts.