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A pregnant pause ensues. Yeman's wondering what he should do. Should he just pile on, or is he expected to be subtle about the whole thing? What was it that his friend, Atul U. Sub-kuch, had mentioned the other day? Yes! Something about being REALLY patient and slow. He recalled Atul mention that marriage was more like a test match than a one-day international and that he had to stay at the crease and not go all out right off the bat. Of course, all this could mean that Atul knew a lot about cricket and not much else!

Yeman: Thinks I definitely don't want a repeat of that incident with Hema Yeh-kya-kar-raha-hai, says To aap kaise ho ...?

Hotbabe: Hot ...

Yeman: Appearing a little surprised and, yes, perhaps a little shocked at the sudden ’forwardness’ of his nai-naveli dulhan brand new wife. Ohh...

Hotbabe: noticing the gradual change in Yeman's facial expression, from the usual I-am-so-confused to what appears to be insatiable lust, realizes the significance of her reply No, no! I mean it's hot in here ...

Yeman: Ohh, I'll turn on the AC ...

Hotbabe: Nahi, rehne deejiye.

By this time, Yeman's getting a little impatient. Obviously, Atul's advice is not doing the trick. In fact, he's not even sure what the trick's supposed to be! He slowly approaches Hotbabe admiring her facial features for the first time. Coming really close now, he finds himself complimenting her.

Yeman: Aap bahut achchi lagti hain.

Hotbabe: Mutters Thanks ... Thinks - I wish he'd brush his teeth and get rid of that beer stink.

Seeing Hotbabe turn her face away from him doesn't do wonders for Yeman's fast deflating ego. By now he's wishing he'd seen all those videos his friends used to rent. He did recall parts of “Debbie Does Delhi", but that particular one had almost no relevance to his present predicament.

Suddenly, Yeman recalls the missing link! Of course, it was that book Atul had given him with a, "Boss, is mein sab kuch hai jo tujhe chahiye. Iss kitaab mein information thoons-thoons ke bhari hai”. Wondering where he'd hidden the darn book (from mummy-jee, of course!) he quickly glances around.

Hotbabe: Thinks - Hmmmm... is he looking for the quickest escape route? Asks Something wrong... ?

Yeman: No, no... can you wait a minute... ?

Hotbabe: Thinks - Well, where do you think I'm going. Says Nahi, nahi. Aap apna time leejiye. Main theek hoon.

Watching Yeman head for the bathroom, she marvels at her hubby's nervousness. A little amused, but more concerned than anything else, she tries to recall what her mom had adviced her the other day ...

"Usse garam doodh mat peenay dena. Tumhare daddy nay do glass piye thay aur phir bistar par laitay he neend aa gayi thi."

Hotbabe: Thinks - Hmmmm... good I managed to do that. What else did she say... ? "Usse lead lene do. Vaise aadmi log ko zyaada pata nahi hota ki kya karna hai, lekin tum kuch na karo, to unko achcha lagta hai. Usko boyfriend ki tarah treat nahi karna, achcha!?"

Hotbabe remembered how embarrassed she'd been at the advice that time, especially after mummy's boyfriend remark. Probably valuable advice… given the present situation...

Hotbabe thinks - Well, doesn't look like that's the case here.

Meanwhile, Yeman is busy reading the ’bible’ Atul gave him as a wedding gift. I am, of course, referring to the ‘Kamasutra’. As couples embarking on a ’new’ life are often told - "Don't leave home without it!". Yeman is trying to speed read his way through what appears to be a fascinating book full of rather interesting pictures! Wishing he had looked at it earlier, he now realizes that there are so many things to be learned. He proceeds to read...

Yeman: Loudly - Aargh! Saali sab bakvas cheezay likhi hain!

Hotbabe: From the other room Jee... ? Kuch kaha aapne?

Yeman: Stuffing the Kamasutra book where he'd found it Nahi, nahi. Tum so jao...

Hotbabe: Not sure if she'd heard correctly Jee...! Kya!?

Yeman: Realizing his folly Mera matlab hai... main abhi aata hoon...

Hotbabe: Letting out a barely audible sigh Oh...

By this time, Yeman has almost given up any hope of coming up with a solution to his mess. Then, in a blinding flash, his dad's words of wisdom come to mind... "Beta, itna darne ki koi zaroorat nahi. Meri baat mano aur, jab time aaye, to maidaan-e-jang mein kood padna! Arre, mujhe hi dekho na. Ek number ke sher the hum apne zamaane mein. Sher ke bachche ho tum!"

Yeman feels that sudden rush of adrenaline taking over his bodily functions with a renewed vigor. Yes! I am a MAN. Better still, I am an ALL INDIAN MALE! If I can get married, what could be worse!? Daddyjee was right! Go phaar (for) it! Yes! Go phhar it! Yes! YES!! ...Yeman doesn't realize that he is not in the bathroom anymore but standing in his undies in front of his now bewildered wife!

Yeman: YES!

Hotbabe: Puzzled look Yes... ?

Yeman: Yes!

Hotbabe: Yes!

Yeman jumps on the bed and pulls the covers over him ...

Come now, you don’t really expect me to go on, do you?

o The intention of this article is not to bruise any egos or to make fun of any particular religion,     caste or creed.
o Any resemblence to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental (although, chances are    high!