| You
must be married; know someone who has been
married or possibly even have a married family
member ;) The following is not intended as
an endorsement of that condition. Nor is it
intended to condemn the sanctity of marriage
as a whole. Actually, there is no such motive,
just a desire to entertain with a little humour
and from what someone had said, as ‘little’
humour as possible.
Just
sit back and enjoy, have a few chuckles
at your partner's / lover's / (dare I say
it?) spouse's expense!
Marriage Jokes
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning
and you had to choose whom to save, would
you go to lunch or to a movie?
It's not true that married men live longer
than single men. It only SEEMS longer.
Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are more willing to die.
A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, but she does.
“My best friend is getting married”
“Against whom?”
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted
to take every advantage of the enemy.
If your wife laughs at your joke, it means
you either have a good joke, or a good wife.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with
them.
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore
I am perfect.
My wife and I have a secret to making a marriage
last.
Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, a
little wine, good food....
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding
her way back.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his
wife, "Maya, pack up your things! We
are going out of town! I just won a lottery!"
The wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm
weather or cold?" The man responds, "I
don't care. Just so long as you are out of
the house by noon!"
A man without a woman is like a fish without
a bicycle.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it
was almost impossible.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster,
and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There
are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.
Remember. Marriage is the number one cause
of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces
start with marriage. |