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When a man
opens the door of his car for his wife, you
can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife is.....
To be happy with a man, you must love him
a little and understand him a lot.
To be happy with a woman you must love her
a lot but never try to understand her.
A married man should forget his own mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the
same thing.
This guy goes to a party without his wife.
He hears this other guy say to his wife
“Pass the sugar, Honey”.
Inspired by this, the next morning at breakfast
with his wife, he says to his wife,
"Pass
the bacon, Pig".
Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in
one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband: You tell a woman something: It goes
in both ears and comes out of the mouth
A man’s credit card was stolen but he
decided not to report it as the thief was
spending less than his wife did.
A couple was having a heated discussion about
family finances. Finally the husband exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, the house
wouldn't be here!"
The wife replied,
"My dear, if it
weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman
he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes
silent.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over
experience.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as
one,
the trouble starts when they try to decide
which one.
Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again are thunder and lightning.
My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two more.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such
a man. |
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