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How
some Indian marriages start
The awkward first phone call
The Scene:
The Girl is a 23 year old investment banker,
working in New York. The Boy is doing his
residency in Boston and was given her number
by his mother, who is a friend of the Girl's
aunt's brother-in-law's cousin's uncle's wife
in Chicago.
Time:
Monday night, 10 pm
Girl: Hello?
Boy: Shit, she's home!
Umm, hi! Is this Pooja?
Girl: Speaking.
Boy: My name is Karan. I don't know
if you know who I am. God,
what if she doesn't know who I am? I don't
even know why I’m doing this!
Girl: Oh, you live in Boston, right?
Boy: Yeah. Ok,
so she was told about me, that's some relief.
I wonder what she was told - "He's a
resident, tall, and fair and he graduated
from Ivy League school!". God, she probably
hates me already!
Girl: Yeah, my mother mentioned you
had my number. I
can't believe he actually called!
Boy: So, how are you? Oh
yeah, that's real original, but what the hell
else I am supposed to say- Umm, hi, I don't
know you, but do you want to be my wife?
Girl: I'm fine. And you?
Ok, this is off to a
great start
Boy: I'm good. Ok,
think, think! So, I heard you're
an investment banker? Oh,
that's a real winner. Now I can be a bad conversationalist
and an idiot!
Girl: Yes
Boy: Ok, she is not
helping me at all! Where do
you work?
Girl: Merrill Lynch.
Boy: Hey, that's a great firm!
I sound like a complete
moron. I should just hang up except my mother
would somehow find out and kill me!
Girl: Yeah, it's a nice place to work.
God, this guy sounds
like a complete loser
Boy: So... Stall,
Stall!
Girl: So you're doing your residency
in cardiology?
Like my mom didn't tell me that 500 times
already!
Boy: Ok, I can handle
this... Yeah, I'm in my second
year. Alright,
now say something else, but what do I say?
Do you drink? Cause if you want to marry me,
you can't be one of those goody goody Indian
girls who think that if they kiss a guy, they've
practically gone all the way So,
what do you like to do in your free time?
Girl: Umm... get wasted...
Oh, you know, hang out with my friends,
go to movies…
Boy: Where do you like to hang out
in NY?
Girl: Shit, what am
I supposed to say? This guy could be some
religious freak! I can't say bars - I'll say
clubs, you can go to clubs and not drink...
Oh, sometimes we go to the movies,
or there's a couple clubs that are good...
That was good, I made
it sound like I like clubs, but I'm not really
into them...
Boy: Ok, she goes to
clubs, that's a good sign. If she was really
religious she wouldn't do that. Yeah?
I like to dance also.
Girl: He likes to dance-
that's a good sign. He can't be that stiff!
So where do you hang out in Boston?
Boy: Should I say it?
Alright, I'll say it, what the hell!
Umm, the same, bars, clubs, stuff
like that.
Girl: He said bars!
So he probably drinks. Good sign. I should
explore this further... Are
there any good bars in Boston?
Boy: Yeah, there are some nice ones,
I mean, I'm not a huge drinker, but I like
having a good time. Ok,
that gives the impression of someone who enjoys
drinking but is not an alcoholic - pretty
good, if I do say so myself
Girl: That sounds really
positive. This guy sounds kind of cool. But
if he's so cool why is he calling me? Shouldn't
he have a girlfriend? Or not need to call
random girls his mother tells him about? God,
what if he's completely ugly? Yeah,
me too. Although I hope my
parents never find out.
Boy: Yeah. I know exactly what you
mean.
Girl: Ok, so he didn't
freak out at the living a double life reference-
another good sign. I just wish I knew what
he looked like... So...
Boy: Or she could be
really fat with a huge mustache. Well, there's
only one way to find out! So…
I know this sounds a little crazy, but I'm
visiting some friends in NYC next weekend
and I wonder if you'd want to get together
for coffee sometime.
Girl: Coffee. That's
totally safe. If he's totally nasty I can
have a quick espresso and run like hell!
Yeah, that sounds great.
Boy: Alright that went
pretty well. Coffee's pretty harmless. And
who knows, maybe she'll be cool. Now I have
to get the hell out of this conversation...
So I have your e-mail, should I just
e-mail you soon and we can figure it out?
Girl: E-mail is sooo
much better than the phone. Thank God for
e-mail! Yeah, just e-mail,
I check it all the time at work, so
- God, this is getting
painful
Boy: Alright, I'll e-mail you soon.
Meaning in two days,
cause I don't want to look too desperate,
but at the same time I don't want to look
like I'm trying not to look too desperate
Girl: Cool. Well, I'm glad you called.
I think...
Boy: Me too. Well, I'll see you soon.
Please be hot, please
be hot!
Girl: Alright. Bye. I
can't believe he called! Too late to back
out now. Besides, maybe he's cool. He didn't
sound so bad on the phone.
Boy: Bye. I did it! I am
the man. I think she wants me. Yeah, she definitely
wants me… |
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