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Yeh Shaadi Nahi Ho Sakti…
They've finally gone and done it! The parents
have arranged one of those ‘meetings’
where ‘any other business’ is
"Would you like pink balloons or red
ones at the wedding reception?"
Yes! You're being introduced to a potential
marriage partner. But to your horror Prince/Princess
Charming (less) has a personality about as
interesting as your big toe, wears clothes
straight from the Patiala fashion show for
Punjabi Farmers, has a face like a Pizza (with
extra olives) and worst of all, is an Accountant!
So how do you tell them that you're not interested?
Well, there are obvious ways to say "Take
a hike, Jack (or Jaswinder)!" but that
could lead to teary eyes all round! So for
your well-being, here is "Ten Ways To
Say Get Lost - With A Smile." It may
help you to adjourn the meeting more gracefully
so you can live to have another one the following
weekend!
1. |
Wipe your nose on your
sleeve and then wipe it on theirs -
twice |
2. |
Order a bucket of ghee to put in
your saag during roti |
3. |
Sit on the dining table and shout
loudly for food |
4. |
Tell them about your cuddly animal
with which you like to sleep (i.e. the
neighbour's bullock) |
5. |
After roti, lick your plate frantically
- then offer to lick theirs |
6. |
When serving the ladoos, shout "Catch!"
and throw it at them |
7. |
Talk with your mouth full and spray
the samosa filling when talking |
8. |
Ask if anyone knows any good Punjabi
swear words. When they say no, proceed
to tell them all the ones that you know.
Direct them at the grand mother for
more effect |
9. |
Ask if you can tattoo your name on
their forehead - in Punjabi |
10. |
Cat whistle at the parents - especially
at the mother (whether you're a boy
or a girl) |
If this doesn't do it, we suggest you go for
the pink balloons at the reception!
Accident
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect
woman met. After a perfect courtship, they
had a perfect wedding. Their life together
was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy
Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving
their perfect car along a winding road, when
they noticed someone at the side of the road
in distress. Being the perfect couple, they
stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with
a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint
any children on the eve of Christmas, the
perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into
their vehicle. Soon they were driving along
delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving
conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple;
and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one
of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor? (Scroll down
for the answer.)
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Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's
the only one who really existed in the first
place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus
and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
Women stop reading here, that is the end of
the joke. Men keep scrolling.
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So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa
Claus, the woman must have been driving. This
explains why there was a car accident. By
the way, if you're a woman and you're still
reading, this illustrates another point: Women
never listen! |
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