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Marriage of IIT Girl
There is a general feeling in the public that
IIT students are found unassumingly lost in
thought almost all the time. And girls fare
no better in this respect. So let us see what
a non-IITian may face when he marries a girl
from this campus.
SCENE: First night of the marriage.
CHARACTERS: IIT bride and non-IIT groom.
The groom approaches the bride and proposes
to kiss her. Let us see what would be her
reaction…
Girl
from the department of Physics:
Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me
with respect to me or with respect to you.
First define how you are going to kiss. You
can kiss me by treating me in the same reference
frame as you are, or treating me in a different
inertial frame by producing waves of motion
through your lips.
How do you prefer?
The guy faints.
Girl
from the department of Mathematics:
Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided
you satisfy the following conditions:
Necessary conditions: You should be close
to me by a distance delta where delta is greater
than zero and the limit for delta tends to
zero and you satisfy the closure property.
Sufficient conditions: You should have lips.
Where the number of lips is neither more than
two nor less than two. You can also kiss by
defining your hand to be me if and only if
you satisfy the above conditions.
The guy goes mad.
Girl
from the department of Computer Science:
You want to kiss me.
IF ((you know the algorithm very well) &&
(your GRE score is greater than2380) &&
(in your stinginess, you did not treat anyone
for having cached in GRE)) THEN GOTO 100
ELSE GOTO 200
100: Fine. I assume that you know how to kiss.
You have to complete the kissing process within
56.22 seconds or else connection will be timed
out. To optimize the timing lets do parallel
processing. As we have to discuss about our
future and other things, let us do the process
of discussion foreground and why can't you
put the process of kissing background? GOTO
300
200: I am afraid, I'll have to enqueue you.
If you time out, you'll be sent to the recycle
bin.
The guy applies for divorce.
300: END
Girl from the department of Electrical
Engineering:
So you would like to kiss me. The process
of kissing is an age old communication process.
The information content of the signal transmitted
from one pair of lips to the other is more
if the probability of the event (of kissing)
is less. Hence take care. If you want a successful
communication between us, you should kiss
me less often. If the information content
is to be infinite, you should never kiss me
at all.
The guy is found hanging from the fan next
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