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Marriage Humour V

 

You must be married; know someone who has been married or possibly even have a married family member ;) The following is not intended as an endorsement of that condition. Nor is it intended to condemn the sanctity of marriage as a whole. Actually, there is no such motive, just a desire to entertain with a little humour and from what someone had said, as ‘little’ humour as possible.

Just sit back and enjoy, have a few chuckles at your partner's / lover's / (dare I say it?) spouse's expense!



Wife Upgrade

Skip this if you are not very familiar with computers… errr… read it anyways…

If you're having trouble with your Girl Friend, you're not alone. Even if you never had problems, upgrading your Girl Friend to Fiance or Wife will not be easy, Not to mention the problems afterwords. Find out what a poor guy has to say!

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it.

I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in the background mode and the sound is turned off. I just run them seperately, and it works okay. GirlFriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Leisure 3.1 and QuietTime programs, often trying to abort them with some sort of unwanted high-pitched noise.

I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0. I just thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and it would require a Token Ring to run properly. I didn't like that idea, and wanted it removed. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while to re-check my hardware.

I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while, until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 on top, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically detects the presence of any other versions of GirlFriend and communicates with it in the background in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality.

Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts, which are very expensive. And I've never liked GirlFriend's totally 'object-oriented'
resource requirements, and that interface is cumbersome and even counter-intuitive.


A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.1, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. To his dismay, however, he discovered that if you don't upgrade again to Fiancee 1.0, GirlFriendPlus 1.1 expires within a year of the upgrade. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade yet again to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a HUGE resource hog.

 
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