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In the Necessity
of marriage…
In a necessity of marriage, a person
marries for the sake of a life-partner,
for companionship and love. This marriage
seeks and gives. It is the result of
the urge to belong and co-habituate.
To love and be loved, to respect and
be respected. There is a need to share
and care. This also fulfills the social
needs to have a family.
This relationship has significance and
is unbreakable. It is not a mere habit
or convenience, nor is it based on sexual
need. This will be a relationship based
on compatibility, trust and faith in
each other. This leads to mutual love.
Love is not something abstract to be
thought about; love is to be found.
When you know that love which is unconditional,
which is not the product of the mind,
then reality comes into being, and that
state is utter bliss, leaving you with
nothing more to need.
When you are looking for a companion
for life, who shall be by your side
in times good and bad, who shall share
your feelings, happy or sad, who shall
hold your hand, no matter what, then
you are in necessity of marriage.
In the ‘marriage
of necessity’…
Marriage of necessities is driven by
circumstances. When marriage could seem
to be the answer to all your needs,
both material and otherwise, it becomes
the marriage of necessities. This could
be a marriage which is entered in to
make profit or for gain. It could be
for wealth, sexual gratification or
a just another business deal. It could
be an easy way out.
This marriage could mean fulfilling
wants and needs of various kinds and
does not necessarily involve love or
compatibility. The need in this marriage
could be just of a beautiful spouse
or a visa and ticket to a foreign country.
Such a marriage lacks the essence of
matrimony or companionship. When one
is young, the sexual urge is strong
and in order to set a limit to it, the
person gets into the institution of
marriage. You ‘tie’ yourself
to a man or to a woman for the rest
of your life and merely get on with
that person. You marry a stranger, knowing
not a thing about the person, and yet
you live with them for the rest of your
life. You establish a relationship,
the significance of which you do not
know and you have neither discovered
nor understood.
Do you call it a marriage where both
the partners are isolated, each pursuing
his or her own interests, ambitions
and needs, each seeking from the other
gratification, economic or psychological
security? Such a relationship is not
a relationship: it is a mutually self-enclosing
process of psychological, biological
and economic necessity, and the obvious
result is conflict, misery, nagging,
possessive fear, jealousy, and so on.
Even if it fulfils a few of your needs
in the beginning, do you think such
a relationship is productive of anything
in the long run?
Marriage of necessity becomes a bargain
or a contract. It violates the holiness
of marriage. It destroys the self-less
love that slowly builds up in a marriage
for love and companionship. It makes
us lonely in company.
True to its definition, a marriage of
necessity remains and continues to be
a relationship, which goes on increasing
your necessities. It shall make you
needy of love, companionship and togetherness.
“A marriage for need shall
always result into a marriage in need”.
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Whatever the goal, the means of marriage remain
the same. It is still widely practiced. Love
it or hate it, you can just not ignore it.
All you have to do is decide your way.
Will yours be
MARRIAGE OF NECESSITY?
Or
NECESSITY OF MARRIAGE? |
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