Some pray
to marry the man they love,
My prayer will somewhat vary;
I humbly pray to Heavens above
That I love the man I marry.
Marriage is an institution where two different
people share many things in common and enjoy
them so much that they agree to spend the
rest of their life together.
We study ourselves three weeks, we love
each other three months, we squabble three
years, we tolerate each other thirty years
and then the children start all over again.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't
anything on earth to worry about, he goes
off and gets married. Then wakes up to find
that marriage is an agony to be borne because
his wife and he share nothing in common!
Only this time, lets understand and put
right the ground rule for a good squabble
and a good marriage so that we may reverse
the above order.
You're given all these lessons for the unimportant
things - piano playing, typing, etc. You're
given years and years of lessons in how
to balance equations, which the God knows
you will never have to do in normal life.
But what about marriage? Before you can
drive a car you need an approved course
of instruction, but driving a car is nothing,
nothing, compared to living day in and day
out with your spouse!
Do not marry a person that you know you
can live with; only marry someone that you
cannot live without.
A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until
he gets a wife.
The bricks of a marriage building are common
interests, the cement is romance, the scaffold
is commitment while the roofs, floor, walls
and windows are held together by the winds
of understanding.
THE INDIAN MAN
chooses his own career…
chooses what he eats…
chooses what he drinks…
chooses what he does on weekends…
chooses what language - or rather lingo
he speaks…
But when it comes to marriage, he opts for
what his family has to offer him.
The Indian ‘emancipated’ male
- too scared to take risks?
Marriage is popular because it combines
the maximum of temptation with the maximum
of opportunity.
George Bernard Shaw
Even the God of Calvin never judged anyone
as harshly as married couples judge each
other.
Wilfred Sheed
Why does a woman work ten years to change
a man's habits and then complain that he's
not the man she married?
Barbra Streisand
The concept of two people living together
for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests
a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A.P. Herbet
At the end of what is called the ’sexual
life’, the only love which has lasted
is the love which has everything, every
disappointment, every failure and every
betrayal, which has accepted even the sad
fact that in the end there is no desire
so deep as the simple desire for companionship.
Graham Greene
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
I am certain of nothing but the holiness
of the heart's affections and the truth
of imagination.
John Keats
A happy marriage perhaps represents the
ideal of human relationship- a setting in
which each partner, while acknowledging
the need of the other, feels free to be
what he or she by nature is: a relationship
in which instinct as well as intellect can
find expression; in which giving and taking
are equal; in which each accepts the other,
and I confronts Thou.
Anthony Storr
A successful marriage is an edifice that
must be rebuilt every day.
André Maurois
All married couples should learn the art
of battle as they should learn the art of
making love. Good battle is objective and
honest- never vicious or cruel. Good battle
is healthy and constructive, and brings
to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.
Ann Landers
In marriage there are no manners to keep
up, and beneath the wildest accusations
no real criticism. Each is familiar with
that ancient child in the other who may
erupt again. . . . We are not ridiculous
to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the
luxury of the wedding ring.
Enid Bagnold
Humorous Quotes
Honesty
is the key to a relationship. If you can
fake that, you're in.
Courtney Cox
Instead of getting married again, I'm going
to find a woman I don't like and just give
her a house. Rod Stewart
My advice to you is get married: if you
find a good wife you'll be happy; if not,
you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner
apart, we take separate vacations - we're
doing everything we can to keep our marriage
together.
Rodney Dangerfield
If you never want to see a man again say,
'I love you, I want to marry you, I want
to have children'. They leave skid marks!
Rita Rudner
Before I got married I had six theories
on children; now I have six children and
no theories.
John Wilmot
I was married by a judge. I should have
asked for a jury.
George Burns
I wouldn't object to my wife having the
last word - if only she'd get to it.
Henny Youngman
My parents stayed together for forty years,
but that was out of spite.
Woody Allen
Why does a woman work for years to change
a man's habits, and then complain that he's
not the man she married?
Barbra Streisand
I told someone I was getting married, and
they said, "Have you picked a date
yet? I said, "Wow, you can bring a
date to your own wedding!?" "What
a country! "
Yakov Smirnoff
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife
says, "You're only interested in one
thing," and you can't remember what
it is.
Milton Berle
I've been in love with the same woman for
forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll
kill me!
Henny Youngman
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was
seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me
the truth that she was seeing a psychiatrist,
two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield
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