What one needs to do is to put away the stereotypes about in-laws and adjust your thinking to the reality of the situation. Love unconditionally and see them follow suit. Compromise yourself, do not ego clash by trying to dominate them.

Never compare your wife to your mother or your husband to your dad. Comparisons need to be avoided since every individual is different. In-laws should not be compared to parents. Your parents have to love you and may also give in to all your whims and fancies; it's natural and expected. But your in-laws won't. Accept the fact that your in-laws aren't your parents and won't follow the same rules. Try to think "different", not "better" or "worse." To make this work, give in on small points and negotiate the key issues. Learn to see the situation from your in-law's point of view.

Always remember everybody is but an extended version of their parents and to everybody they shall mean as much as your parents do to you. Your in-laws are a crucial part of your spouse's life. This makes them a crucial part of your life as well. No one ever said it was easy to balance your needs with the needs of others especially the needs of an entire new family.

Never put your spouse in a situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you're putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his or her grandparents, parents, and siblings. If possible, try to support that relationship. Even if your spouse has parents who do not approve of you, they are his or her parents and love him nevertheless.

One thing that really helps often is to let your in-laws help. Ask for help when you need it. It really will make a world of difference in your life. For if you yourself try to play the perfect parent, perfect spouse, or perfect whatever you're continually trying to be, you'll find yourself on one of the fastest roads to anger, stress, and just plain getting worn out. When you allow the other members of the family to participate, life becomes much easier and calmer.

Expect some adjustment time for parents after marriage to adjust to this new relationship. Do not jump to conclusions at the beginning itself. You will realize it that if you act in haste, it won't be easy to build bridges and rebuild some that have been burnt. To balance between your spouse and the in-laws, you have to love them both unconditionally. For theres no better way of pleasing your spouse than being affectionate to his/her parents. And, winning over in-laws is easier by being cordial to your spouse. All the while pleasing yourself too. Never let misconceptions or misunderstandings stand for long. If something bothers you, address it as soon as possible. Sometimes it's a genuine problem; other times, it might be a misunderstanding. Whatever it is, at least it gets a solution at the earliest.

Encourage a good relationship of your spouse with your family and also make efforts to develop good relations with the spouse's family. You will see for yourself that accepting makes being accepted much more easier. When couples join, so do their households. Starting a life together can mean compromising on some habits you already have, or beginning entirely fresh. Respect each other; trying to achieve balance won't work otherwise. Accept each other's families as your own and you will find yourself realizing that all the horror stories you had believed to be related to in-laws didn't exist in your world.

Last not the least, remember that do what you may, you are forever indebted to your in-laws for having blessed you with a great part of their life which now forms your other half.