How ironical! Here we are surfing, trying to find our life partners on the net. In a way we are celebrating the triumph of technology over the world and the stars. With satellite, mobiles, television, computers, nothing seems impossible. It is almost like man trying to play God. Time and distance hardly seem to matter. We can contact our loved ones who live across the globe in a matter of seconds. And therefore it is said that we have reached the pinnacle of the communication revolution. But here lies the irony. Human communication is still in its most outdated of forms!

Despite modern tools that facilitate communication of ideas, feelings and emotions; relationships are becoming more complex and fragile! Marriage, the most basic institution that makes a family, and then the whole society; is breaking down! Why? One of the main culprits is POOR COMMUNICATION!

The institution of marriage has been the biggest casualty of miscommunication because personal communication and feedback are two crucial elements of communication that have been completely neglected by us. Most marriages experience a glorious period in the beginning. But the post - honeymoon period bears witness to turbulent times. The Cinderella stories turn into a never-ending nightmare when couples fail to communicate. This happens especially after the initial euphoria recedes and a monotonous routine sets in. Responsibilities increase, weighing down upon young couples that are not yet mature enough for a new relationship. They fail to realise that special efforts have to be made to start a new relationship along with the new roles assigned to them. The transition from fiancé / fiancée to a husband / wife relationship should be a gradual one, not like a sudden accident that occurs.

The most common complaints of working couples are, 'I have a computer for a rival for my spouse's attention', 'We haven't had a meal together since ages'. And then it is snowballed by the endless questions that plague them when their spouse's fail to communicate - Has he fallen out of love? Have I displeased her? Is he having an affair outside? If the workload is humongous, one can always explain the facts to the spouse instead of a rude -- 'forget it, you won't understand'. Enlisting your spouse's help can also be a great idea. Working together not only deflates the stress levels but also makes the experience fun. More ever, such memories can be cherished for a lifetime.

If one goes into the dynamics of good communication to avoid errors, technically speaking there are 5 key elements that together make a communication successful :

All of the above mentioned elements are essential and need to be chosen carefully.

For example, the kind of medium selected is very crucial. Many a real life love stories end even before they even start to blossom. Fate conspires and love letters don’t reach on time, mails mysteriously disappear, phone conversations are not comprehended, the context is not well understood etc.

Let's take an example. Smita had asked her husband Purab to come early in the evening since they had to attend a marriage party together. Purab suddenly got called for an important meeting and he hurriedly left a message with the maid at the house that he won't be able to make it. The maid must never have imagined in the wildest of her dreams, that she will be instrumental in starting up a crack. A small error which will eventually lead to a breakup of Smita’s marriage. And the only mistake the maid committed was that she failed to pass the message on to her mistress!

Most important of all the above elements is Feedback. It is also the most neglected part of a communication process. Without it, the process is incomplete. When a wife puts her heart and soul into her culinary skills to prepare an excellent meal, the husband too should appreciate and compliment her to show that he acknowledges her efforts (never mind if the vegetable is salty and the naans are burnt black). A simple, 'You can outdo Sanjeev Kapoor anytime', will suffice and make her feel as if she is on the ninth cloud.

Then there's Vani's case. Vani was going to meet Ravi for the first time since they had come to know each other through the net. When the meeting finally took place, she was very happy. He was all she had imagined him to be. But, there was a surprise in store for her. When they met online the next day, he refused to recognize her, let aside having met her. She was completely confused and heartbroken. She had secretly cherished a liking for Ravi and suddenly she did not know what to do or say. 'It was not as if I had asked for a marital commitment. We could have remained friends', she thought. Ravi might have had his own reasons for not getting in touch with her. Ravi might have had his own reasons for not getting in touch with her. A relative's accident or an urgent business trip abroad. Whatever might have been the reason, Vani did become a victim of poor communication.