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When it
comes to marriage, most men and women love
to fantasize about their future life partner.
Almost everyone, however remotely concerned,
seem to carry a clear picture of the person
they wish to spend their lives with in their
minds, along with an exhaustive list of
the qualities or traits they wish to seek
in their prospective spouse.
Nevertheless, research & studies have
proven that in dealing with matters concerning
serious relationships in the real world,
men are more fanciful and unrealistic, and
therefore, more prone to heartbreaks, disappointments
and sometimes, severe disillusionment.
What men want
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North Indian Brahmin
parents seek suitable alliance for a
professional boy of 30 years, the girl
must be very fair, slim, tall, homely
and below 25 years of age. Returnable
photo and horoscope must...’ |
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’28
years old IT professional, willing to
settle abroad seeks a suitable life
partner, preferable a career-oriented
girl, contact...’ |
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‘Seeking alliance
for a smart, 28 year old, rajput doctor,
working in US on H1 Visa, visiting India
in June 2003. Early marriage. Write
to post box no...’ |
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These are a few glimpses of the matrimonial
advertisements placed by the prospecting Indian
grooms in the newspapers. Some of these ads
are too short & mysterious, failing to
convey almost anything commendable about the
groom-to-be. Some appear to be a tiring list
of their demands of what or whom they want
as their bride, while mentioning little about
what or who they are (mostly because they
have only that very little much to say).
The world is filled with all kinds of men,
but when it comes to marriage, the Indian
male can easily be bracketed into a handful
of kinds.
“There was a time
when the khandaan (the clan)
and the charitra (the character)
of both boys & girls were dissected, which
formed the pre-requisite for a marriage,”
spoke the mother of an eligible daughter.
“Then only the status
of the family was seen; later it came down
to how much dowry can be had by the groom.
Today, dowry maybe a passé in some
communities, but the nakhras
(tantrums) of the ladkewalas
(groom’s family) seem to have swelled
up.”
Agrees another parent, “In the educated
and progressive communities, another menace
seem to have sprung up; Whereas dowry is now
taken only by those boys who are incapable
of earning a decent living, most of them want
their wife to be a ‘super woman’
- a woman with flawless complexion, drop-dead
gorgeous looks & figure of a model; who
cooks like their mother, works like a house
maid, and could even earn for herself…
In general an angel and a virgin to top it
all… It’s like all men want a
Sita for a wife, not realizing that they are
no Ram themselves.” |