Malayalam is the principal language of the South Indian State of Kerala and the Lakshadweep Islands (West Coast of India). The ones who speak Malayalam are known as the Malayalees and constitute four percent of the population of India.
Remarkably liberal in their attitudes, the Malayalees have always welcomed other languages to co-exist with their own. Some items of basic vocabulary, (e.g. bhArya/ wife, bharthAvu/ husband) have found their way from Sanskrit into Malayalam from Sanskrit. In doing so, they have also adapted some of the Indian matrimonial rituals into Malayalee matrimonials. read more..
Malyalee matrimonial ceremonies have traveled through a long and varied evolution. A matrimonial alliance is considered socially, emotionally and economically important. It is a known fact that parents have often gone to great lengths to get a suitable partner for their son or daughter. A potential Malyalee partner is one who has a good job, a good position in society, honorable character and reasonable looks. Malayalee marriage rituals and practices may vary according to each section of that particular society.
Kerala has adapted very comfortably to modern life, but retains a lot of its matrimonial traditionalism. A traditional Malyalee wedding begins with exchanging and matching of horoscopes. Discreet queries of the potential partner are also made within the community and in some cases, the family deity is consulted. The auspicious date or the 'Muhurtham' is then finalized in advice to the family astrologers. The elders of the family fix the engagement ceremony called the 'Nischayam' and the 'Muhurtham' (wedding date and time) is announced on this day to their family and friends. The prospective bride and the groom are not allowed to be present on this pre - matrimonial occasion.
On the eve of the wedding, a pre - matrimonial traditional dinner is hosted at the bride's house. She has to sit facing the east and have a five-course meal. The bride is dressed up in Mundu (a two piece sari - not compulsory). She is also adorned in flowers and jewelry.
The next day the groom arrives. He is clothed in a dhoti and angavastram and arrives at the bride's ancestral home. This is also the place where the actual matrimonial ceremony will take place. He is seated to the northwest of the house, as the Veli will take place in that particular room. The father of the bride then washes his feet to welcome him. The groom then hands over the bride's sari which is typical to Malayalee matrimonials and which is in an off white colour.
The actual wedding is very short and does not have any hard and fast religious rules. While modern life may have impacted traditional practices, most Malayalee still observe the significant long-honoured customs. Like every actual Indian matrimonial ritual, the 'Veli' is performed around the Agni (fire). The bride and the groom circle the sacred fire three times (instead of the usual seven they have in most Indian matrimonials). The bride's father ties the Taali which is strung on a yellow thread around the neck of the bride. (In other South Indian communities, the Taali is tied by the groom, round the bride's neck). Thereafter, the hand of the bride is given into the palms of the groom. This matrimonial ceremony is known as the 'Kanyadaanam' or 'Penkoda'.
The Malayalee wedding ceremony of the 'Sparsham' then takes place and symbolizes the meeting of the minds in oneness. As the groom sits in front of the bride, he tilts his head backwards to touch the forehead of the bride .The bride then offers Laja (puffed rice) to the fire amidst the chanting of Vedic mantras. The groom then lifts the bride's foot and places it on the Ammi (grinding stone). In the Malayalee community, this gesture symbolizes the breaking away of the bride's ties with her family into which she was born. The groom then lightly moves the bride's foot seven times to signify her entry into his home and family.
After the wedding ceremony a post - matrimonial reception is held. The Malayalee wedding reception is a thoroughfare of traditional and vegetarian food. After this, the couple leaves for the bride's matrimonial home preceded by lamps in what is called 'Kudivep'. At her husband's house, she is welcomed with a lot of love and affection. This is known as the 'Grihpravesh'. Since divorce is still strongly resisted within the Malayalee communities, the religious authorities and families actively work to help the parties to stay together.