| "Where
are all the good girls/guys gone?"
"All the good ones are married!"
How many times have you heard your
family, friends, colleagues and relatives
utter those clichéd lines with a
deep sigh? In fact, the way some people
moan, you would think that ‘desired
lifemates’ were an extinct species!
Well, first of all, you don't essentially
have to feel that way; and there are plenty
of 'eligible' men and women out there for
you if you are willing to put in a little
effort and change your attitude. But before
that, you must give up certain myths, notions
and customary beliefs and begin to take
charge of your romantic life. Like your
friends, family and work, romance is just
another aspect of your life. And just as
you devote time and effort on your friends,
family and work, it requires that you take
the responsibility for making it happen
too.
Life is not a sugary-sweet romantic novel
nor a mushy movie where one fine day, your
'Mr. Right/ Miss Perfect’ will appear
out of the blue in your living room. In
order to meet the man & woman of your
dreams in real life, you must come out of
the fantasy world, develop a plan
of action and then act seriously
upon it. Many people crib and complain about
being lonely and are sincere about their
desire to be with another person, but they
are not committed in their efforts to making
it happen. Because, while sincerity is an
attitude, commitment is an action. And sincerity
without action does not make anything happen!
Myth 1: You must be lucky enough
to find your dream mate
Luck has little to do with your meeting
your suitable lifemate, except maintaining
the illusion that 'marriage is a big gamble'
or that 'we are all helpless in the hands
of God & fate'! Most people engage in
their search for a partner with the belief
that everything is pre-ordained and there
is nothing they can do about it accept hope
and pray, as though they were headed towards
the war front! They tend to pray, wish,
hope, and dream about finding their ideal
mate, but they seldom give it a serious
thought, develop a strategy or plan of action.
They spend more time and energy planning
a dinner party than the most important relationship
of their lives.
There are a select few however, who are
in control of their life and who realize
the seriousness of 'marriage' and 'relationship',
and they do everything in their power to
increase their possibilities of meeting
the right person-the person they wish to
spend their entire life with.
Myth 2: Marriages are made in heaven
Dealt with a glorified festivity in our
movies, romantic fiction and even sermons
of elderly folks, which boils down to ’Kahin
Na Kahin Koi Hai!’, this myth assumes
that relationships are pre-destined &
are beyond the domains of ordinary mortals.
In other words what it means is, ‘as
human beings we do not have any control
over the choice of our 'life mates', as
they are already chosen by God for us and
so, we must settle for those that we find
(and thus, no big effort required!)’.
While this myth has romantic overtones,
it denies human beings from taking charge
of their lives & decisions, and leaves
them at the mercy of some ‘fictitious
masterplan’ governing their lives!
If indeed marriages were made in heaven,
we should exercise our God-given right to
choose and learn how to make more effective
and 'right' choices.
God doesn't provide us with a mate - He
provides us with the ability to choose.
It is for us to make the most out of this
ability, which is directly proportional
to our efforts. |