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I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
She: I don't think I'd marry the best man
on earth.
He: If you marry me you wouldn't be taking
that risk.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,
"What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
I have learned there is little difference
in husbands; you might as well keep the first.
It doesn't matter how often a married man
changes his job, he still ends up with the
same boss.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Wife wanted". Next day he received
a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing: "You can have mine".
Did you know why one's native language is
called ‘mothertongue’?
'cos the father hardly gets the opportunity
to speak.
Marriage is a gamble. You start with a pair.
He shows a diamond. She shows a heart. Her
father has a club. His father has a spade.
There's usually a joker around somewhere,
but after a while he becomes a king and she
becomes a queen. Then they end up with a full
house.
A perfect wife is one who helps the husband
with the dishes.
A woman was telling her friend , "It
is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married
him." Asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A multimillionaire".
When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your
sleep.
After marriage, husband and wife become two
sides of a coin; they just can't face each
other, but still they stay together.
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father
and said, "I've found a woman just like
mother!" His father replied, "So
what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life thinking they had no
faults at all.
I think one of the greatest things about marriage
is that as both husband and father, I can
say anything I want to around the house. Of
course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive
way to get your laundry done free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse
who is packing your parachute. |
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