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It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else. In fact, it has even automatically deleted several of his other programs to make room for itself, not the least of which was DrinkingBuddies 1.0 as well, which used to be one of his favorite applications. This is particularly disturbing to me, as we used to run DrinkingBuddies 1.0 on a network with several of our mutual friends, and now he can't even connect anymore!

He told me that one of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus, which sounded great. Well, as it turns out, the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes inexplicably prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly when he starts the new plug-ins he wanted to try. Also, for no apparent reason, the OralSex 1.0 module that worked fine in his previous versions of GirlFriendPlus, stopped working the instant the upgrade to Wife 1.0 finished installing.

On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything with the FreeSexPlus module. This warming up process requires him to run an antiquated version of ForePlay Beta, which has an agonizingly slow interface, and which has an unfortunate tendency to crash, requiring a cold reboot to his system. The real insult to injury however, is that even though he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came embedded with MotherInLaw 2.0, which has an irritating automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.

I've heard that I would really like the CoolGirlFriend 1.0 Deluxe Upgrade (which is supposed to come bundled with a completely functioning version of FreeSexDeluxe), but that release is no where to be found - not even the Beta version! That release is also supposed to come with it's own resource management module seamlessly layered in, so it won't conflict with any of my other programs (barring previous versions of GirlFriend, which I would happily delete!).
I didn’t know what to do! To solve this problem, I called a friend of mine to check if upgrading GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 would make any sense.

His story:
He upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning child-processes, which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself in such a way that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 8.3, BeerBash 2.5 and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired plug-ins, such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he said he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:
  • A 'Don't remind me again' button
  • Minimize button
  • An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
  • An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the ‘systems hardware probe’ feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with GirlFriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.

Apparently you cannot install GirlFriend 2.0 on top of GirlFriend 1.0. You must uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of.

Apparently the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

One more thing - All versions of GirlFriend continually pop up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

My life now is ONE BIG MESS!

 
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